TheTeenDoc.com » Mentor

Judge Sotomayor a Lesson in Humility for Teens

teendoc — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:21:01 +0000

Judge Sonia Sotomayor rather than show disdain or annoyance with any question even that question asked so many times, did not get annoyed or ignore certain questions instead despite possibly being the smartest person in the room chose to answer each question and in so doing was the picture of humility during her confirmation hearings.

Judge Sotomayor had the ability to view herself despite the significance of her nomination as nothing compared to her “fidelity to the law.” It was about something bigger than her. The woman who is possibly the first Latina Supreme Court justice and who got there with perseverance and dedication considers her accomplishments no more important than the law she upholds.

What a lesson to teach your teen that even though you want them to have the confidence to stand up for themselves and hopefully others that they also have the humility to know that they are no more important than the world they live in. Sometimes it is easy to think you are better than the vagrant on the street or the cashier that rings you up, but the truth is that we are all great in some special way.

Judge Sotomayor is a great example to mention when your teen gets upset about something they have not done. Your teen’s attitude can get them arrested or kicked out of class. Your teen’s attitude can also inspire others to be better even adults. Teens should know there are situations where they will be right or have done nothing wrong, but they should listen and wait for the proper moment to speak. After all, won’t it speak volumes to the adults around them to see a teen speak calmly rather than yell and swear as they are used to thinking.

Their humility will permit others to see what they already know about themselves, they have dignity, self-respect and humility. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Teach your teen to make it as hard as possible for others to make them feel inferior and yet give others enough respect to know they are equally significant.

What a humbling experience for our teens to see a woman with such a rich history of perseverance and fortune still capable of respecting the senators before her. What a “wise Latina.”

Six ways Community Service can be Better than a Job

teendoc — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 04:05:34 +0000

This summer will have difficult employment challenges. The recession has affected the job market for parents, but it does not stop there teen unemployment is also going to be at an all time high this summer. And this begs the question, what are these teens going to do with all of that time?

Having cash provides some independence and freedom for teens. Saving for a car, clothes or college is a great way to learn about responsibility, money management and pride in ownership, but the recession is going to change that experience for many teens this summer. Change the experience, but offer the potential for a great opportunity through community service or volunteer opportunities.

High schools have begun integrating some type of community service into their curriculum. Although this means that it is a requirement to earn credits, the value of the underlying experience cannot be overstated enough. Here are a few rewards from community service

1. Passion. Encourage your teen to pick somewhere they can really put their heart and soul into so they begin to see the value of giving while discovering their talent. This can be much more rewarding than folding clothes or straightening up retail shelves although that too has integrity.

2. Mentorship. If your teen has an idea of career they may be interested in, they can look up a business that may allow them to volunteer. It is a great opportunity to speak to someone doing what you want to do, ask them about their education and what their particular path to fulfill their dreams looked like.

3. Experience. Even without pay the experience that teens gain from being in an environment that will use them as much as they want to be used will give them experience that they might not have obtained had they been hired.

4. Networking. If you are good enough to impress someone with hard work and talent, you better believe they are going to be willing to step up for you by writing a recommendation, or making a call for a job or school.

5. Connection. With a connection to their community, teens feel less alone, take ownership of how the community treats others, presents itself to others and how it functions. You are less inclined to graffiti the building that you just painted.

6. Trouble –free Summer. How does the expression go? Idle hands…doing community service keeps teens busy and therefore less likely to be in the wrong place at the wrong time because they were “hangin’ out.”

Five Tips to Get to Know Your Teen Better

teendoc — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 17:02:47 +0000

Getting to know your teen better is the basis of a good relationship with your teen. There are easy ways to learn more about your teen even if you think you have nothing in common, or that your teen wants nothing to do with you.

1. Games: Although any game that allows your teen to talk while the distraction of an activity continues is great, conversational games afford even more insight on how your teen thinks about topics (e.g. Trivial Pursuit or Truth or Dare).

2. Movies: I think movies are an excellent way to get your teen talking about a topic. It is another chance to learn how your teen thinks about issues from drinking to sex. It can also be a great way to screen what your teen is watching.

3. Music: The differences in musical tastes between the generations is an ongoing subject of debate, but why not bridge the divide by asking your teen to download some songs onto your MP3 player then discuss why certain songs mean something to them or you.

4. Crisis: A crisis in yours or another family is another way to watch how your teen thinks and reacts. Do they offer to help out? Do they become overwhelmed and need support? It is important not to assume that you know how your teen will react since this may look like judging to them. Judging can cause feelings of anger and resentment so give your teen the space to figure out what they think about the situation. They may surprise you and in doing so give you more confidence in their future decisions.

5. Listening: I think listening may be the single most important thing you can do to learn more about your teen. Your teen is frequently trying to tell you who they are. Their concern that you may not be able to accept who they are keeps them silent. Listening to them and really hearing what your teen has to say will give you the information you need to help guide them.

Teens need you throughout their teen years. Never think that because they seem to push you away that they are ready to be independent. Be persistent and get to know your teen so that you can be there for them when they need you.

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How Should You Spend Memorial Day?

teendoc — Mon, 25 May 2009 05:07:59 +0000

Memorial Day was started as a day to pay respect to those service men and women who have died for our country. The initial tradition involved decorating the graves of those who had fallen hence the initial name, Decoration Day. Today, Memorial Day means something different to everyone. For me, it was an opportunity to think about the age of those who had fallen.

In the Iraq war in particular, fifty-four percent of US casualties have been under the age of twenty-five. In teen health, we know that although the law calls a teen an adult at the age of eighteen, their brains have not fully developed until the age of twenty-five or six. This means that young men and women who have died are being honored on this Memorial Day who never had the opportunity to fully appreciate their dreams.

These are young men and women who should have been securing their sense of self and their desire to settle down if they had not already. We all agree that children are our future, but this is if they make it to a station in life where they get to make the changes to our world that only youth can bring. If you think of where you might have been in your early twenties, you know that you are just getting started. You have just had a few years under your belt of being out of your parent’s home. You have completed or are about to complete school or any training. You have a serious relationship or you have just settled down.

Memorial Day offers us an opportunity to honor those who have served our country, and perhaps the other opportunity it offers us is to honor those whose lives are still a work in progress. To give those young adults in our lives that are struggling and trying to get it all together the helping hand they need to make it. Offer to mentor, give them an opportunity to apprentice or volunteer, or simply share some words of wisdom or hope. Without them, the future of this country will still be unstable despite the blood shed by those who have given their lives for it.

Memorial Day: A Day of Remembrance