4 Things to Watch For In Your H.S. Freshman
1. Social Life
For some teens starting high school separates them from friends they have had for the past 5-8 years this can create desperation to enter any social group and the easiest is the drug using group. For others, it is a sea of new faces and opportunities to hang out on the phone or text instead of doing homework or other responsibilities. If not monitored, the entire semester can pass before they realize how much their grades have dropped.
What can you do?
Use a list of Drug Use Red Flags to get them the help (counseling) they need earlier they are more likely to be responsive and get better. You should also limit social outlets including TV and video games until after homework is complete.
2. Grades
Grades are an excellent barometer for how your teen is doing in their lives. The transition from middle school or junior high to high school also means new academic challenges. Some teens will rise to meet the challenge while others may hit their academic wall. This can be devastating and cause all types of reactions: depression, anxiety or a combination of the two, which can lead to poor coping skills like eating disorders, substance use and adapting an “I don’t care” attitude.
What can you do?
Let your teen know that high school should get harder because they have gotten smarter. They can’t do middle school level work the rest of their lives. For your perfectionist, praise the “C” the way you praise the “A.” Help them appreciate the love for learning and not just the grade for learning. Make your expectations clear that the key is they try their best and not become a perfect child. Pressures like this only serve to stress your teen rather than have them feel supported.
3. Activities
Sports are another way that your teen can connect and form a network of friends. Sports also take up a lot of time, which can help the teen that needs too much to do in order to be organized, but overwhelm the student who needs to spend the time studying to maintain their grades. The pressure of getting a college scholarship or needing a stepping stone to professional sports can also add pressure to not quit.
What can you do?
Let your teen know you prefer they are happy than stressed. If they have lost interest in a sport, in very clear ways let them know it is okay for them to stop. They can make a choice without disappointing you. Think carefully about whether your teen needs the chaos to keep organized and help them in ways that don’t add extra pressure like chores on non school nights.
4. Mood
The struggle for independence can create baseline irritability or anger in your teen. There isn’t always a nice way to say, “Back off! I am stressed about this quiz tomorrow and you’re asking me about the garbage?!” The balance of power always tips in favor of parents since it is your household.
What can you do?
Be sensitive to their struggle and consider, is there also a lack of motivation? Are they tired even though they sleep all the time? Do they seem to be gaining or losing a lot of weight? Do they seem worried? Have they lost interest in things that once made them happy? Do they seem to think up worst case scenarios a lot? These types of questions can help you detect underlying mood disorders, which commonly start in the teen years. They will not improve without some sort of medical or mental health intervention. So please seek care as soon as possible. Treating depression, anxiety, or substance or eating disorders early by identifying red flags can help your teen’s developing self-esteem and give them a fighting chance for success!
These issues are important because they are very common in the freshmen year when their academic and social success lay the foundation for development of who they are and how they feel about themselves. Poor grades, no matter how nonchalant your teen seems about them, affect their self-esteem and if allowed to go on long enough can affect their future in a very negative way.
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