But, My Kid’s A Genius
Really smart kids have their issues too proving that everything that needs to be learned in high school isn’t just about good grades. Unfortunately, you don’t know that if you’re struggling to earn credits, but for teens that easily make the grade, the issue may be how they socialize. Yep! Good old-fashioned people skills.
It’s nice when people think the best of you. Your teen is smart and they’re pretty sure they’re gonna make it. People may know nothing of your teen other than they’re a sure bet to get the A, but there’s a lot of pressure that can come with this expectation. Just like any other identity concern, your teen may be so consumed with the expectations of others including you that it leaves no room for them to discover what they might like to do.
Being smart may also mean that your teen is the subject of their peer’s judgment. A smart kid doesn’t have fun, doesn’t know how to take a joke, isn’t cool. This can create a whole new level of social expectation for your smart teen, and this is to prove those peers wrong. This is of particular concern in senior year when a lot of the work of securing their undergraduate school is done. They may want to see what they have missed all these years and do some of the most atypical behavior that you ever thought you’d see in your teen.
Balance is key. Your teen must learn to avoid burying themselves so much in their studies that they forget the importance of just saying, “Hi.” They can’t forget they too have to connect with people and that people are more dimensional than the stories they read or the seemingly careless way they seem to enter more risky behavior than your teen has. Being smart is one part of excelling in this world, there are so many other parts that contribute to why smart people excel and many of them can be found in the other students that are not getting all As. So balance remains key. It’s great that your teen is academically gifted, but the basic elements of identity development, kindness and humility remain the root of even more success.
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I have found this issue more with my second and third children than it was for our oldest. I don’t know if it is a matter of birth order necessarily or more the social groups they have chosen. It’s really hard to try to fit into a social group that sees “being smart” as not “being cool”. Our boys both walk a fine line with their peers in regards to the smart vs. cool issue. Maybe it’s a gender issue? I’m not sure where it comes from, but that balance is critical. We feel lucky in that we have at least one Middle School teacher here that tells the kids to be a “cool nerd”. He gives examples from his life (he is in his mid-20s, so they tend to listen to him) about keeping grades up AND participating in sports, clubs, etc.
maintaining high grades is always a challenge to every teen. Parent’s constant guidance is necessary for teens to handle any adolescent matters successful. It is a very helpful advise. Thank you so much.