Teen Depression Isn’t Always Sad
Depression is typically someone who is sad, keeps to themselves, doesn’t eat, or loses interest in things they once cared about. But what about anger, fighting, other aggressive behavior and initiating violence at school or on the street, is that depression too?
Depression can also be angry. After all, depression is anger turned inward. If you don’t know that deperssion can be anger towards others, you might misinterpret your teen’s outbursts, desire to punch the wall or seemingly punch you. It can look like they are well, angry and anger doesn’t pull sympathy like the depressed teen girl who can’t get out of bed.
Teens who don’t want to seem weak, may choose to hide their depression behind rage. They have outbursts, seem to hate everyone and have no problem starting a fight with anyone who does the slightest misstep towards them. They want someone to do something so they have a reason to be provoked. This doesn’t garner sympathy from teachers, the community or parents. This can make your teen even angrier.
Angry depression can also be seen with substance use, eating disorders, cutting and other self-injurious behavior. These poor coping skills are so emotionally intense they simply obscure the underlying issue of depression associated with a quieter or calm behavior.
Ways you can help:
1. Recognize the anger
If the anger seems out of proportion to the event, then it might be. This can be hard because in general teens manage their emotions poorly. They are highly sensitive at baseline and easily misinterpret things said by those around them, but consistent anger may give you a clue there is something going on.
2. Ask
Never underestimate your ability to get your teen talking. An act of kindness and willingness to listen may make your teen feel safe talking to you about what is wrong. You can gain insight into your teen’s actions so you can help.
3. Counseling
Sometimes you need a reality check and other times you simply need help. Arranging an appointment with a therapist can give you and your teen an objective perspective on their anger and what it may mean.
Whether depression is soft-spoken or angry, it is important to remember that depression is the leading cause of suicide and suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among teens. Neither presentation should be permitted to exist because you are afraid of one more than the other. Both teens need your help.
Resources:
Hotlines:
1.800.SUICIDE
1.800.273.TALK
Websites:
SuicideHotlines.com - helps you find a suicide hotline in your state.
Suicidepreventionlifeline.org - A comprehensive resource on information for prevention as well as survivors.
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