4 Tips on Compromise for Teens
The art of compromise is not about being everyone’s friend, but getting the job done. What they say about Senator Ted Kennedy is that he was the great compromiser and he got the job done. What is not said, but clear is that you frequently must compromise in order to get the job done.
What your teen needs to know about compromise is that it takes:
1. Generosity
Compromise is about knowing what you can give for the other party to feel they got something too. You don’t have to leave the person with nothing to win. Doing this well requires a certain grace and charm because people should not be left feeling bamboozled after the deal, but charmed by your teen.
2. Network
Learning how to give in a deal means that people want to deal with your teen again. Repeated dealings create a network over time of people with whom your teen now has a relationship. A reputation for being honest and fair goes a long way in any community. This word of mouth is priceless and fragile.
3. Negotiate
Great negotiators aren’t always preventing people from jumping off bridges or getting hostages out of life or death situations. Your teen needs to understand you negotiate in many facets of your life. They may think you’re a “wus” because you walked away from a fight, but they need to understand a lot goes into negotiating what your actions are and how those actions might compromise your safety and freedom.
4. Success
Learning how to compromise ultimately means that like Senator Ted Kennedy you have more successes than failures because if you can give up something to know that what you get in return is part of a greater picture, you really win and therefore succeed much of the time.
In a time when there is so much to say about “talkin’ trash” and “dissin’ people” in order to make people feel small, why not let your teen be the person who makes people feel good in an attempt to give something to your community, build a strong network of supporters, negotiate difficulties that leave you a better person and succeed in life. Why not teach your teen the art of true compromise?
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