TheTeenDoc.com

Changing the World One Teen at a Time

The prom king and queen are popular and everyone wants to be their friend, but what happens when making friends is not that easy?  What if you are shy like the celebrities Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Robert Dinero or even Jim Carey who were all shy when they were kids?  Some of them are still shy.  How easy is it to make friends then?  What if you are so depressed you don’t even care about having friends or making yourself visible to others? You already think you are invisible?

Any refusal to have friends is concerning and certainly a teen that has tried and failed needs help, even still they should not be permitted to exist without some physical connection to others.  So, not just the  internet.  There are several reasons that teens may have legitimate reasons for not connecting to others, a history of being bullied, moving to a new town especially in senior year, speaking a foreign language, awkward social skills and the list goes on.  No matter the reason there should be someone out there with whom your teen can connect. 

Each of the above listed reasons has their own solution, but for the strong silent type here are some suggestions:

1. You just need two.  You just need two friends yourself and someone else. Having yourself as a friend first is important because it is only through enjoying your own company that you are able to connect with others with enough confidence to realize that you are worthy of having a friend. No one is your friend out of pity and if you feel ike that in a relationship that is not your friend. You have to believe that you have something to offer and are worth befriending.

2. Hobbies.  Focus on your teen’s hobbies to give them a comfortable environment in which they can be themselves and present themselves as knowledgeable and confident.  This is much easier today with postings at the local coffee house and internet social networks that enjoy connecting in person as well.  Obviously, a parent should monitor a teen’s computer use on social networks to make sure the group they are connecting with is appropriate. Check out information about monitoring your teen’s internet use here.

3. Older and Wiser Teens.  Teens that associate with older teens sometimes cause concern for fear they will be introduced to bad behavior, however, there is also an advantage of your teen connecting with a mature group that is focused and willing to engage your teen.  A big brother or sister is another way to accomplish this goal.

4. Extracurricular Activities.  Your teen can consider auditing a college class and networking through a special interest group such as food or coin collection.  volunteering or doing a work program for an organization can expose your teen to people who are more patient and want to be around anyone who is passionate about an topic.  This is especially true of the elderly who need to know that they are still useful and have so much to share. 

5. Club. Begin an after school club that is based on your teen’s special interest. If they are concerned there may not be enough teens interested in their school, they can invite teens from the local church, library, and other schools in the community.  Subjects like the environment, disease advocacy like HIV/AIDS walks and local politics are all opportunities for teens to put their energy and ideas behind.

Not every teen is going to be prom king or queen and the great thing is you don’t have to be since things that make us unique are the things that make us special.  Teens sometimes take a little convincing.  Give them an environment to thrive in so they have the confidence to connect with others on their own terms.  People will like them for who they are once they know that your teen likes who they are.

Related posts:

1. 5 Reasons Teens need Friends
2. Bullying Friends, Or No friends?
3. 5 Tips to help your Teen Figure Out who they are
4. My Teen is My BFF!
5. The First Teen Friend