6 Things That Make A Great Teen Parent
Speak to teens. If you have this opportunity speak to a small group of tweens and/or teens. Why? Because if asked to do so, they will tell you what is going on and they will make you a better parent.
If you ask them what makes a great teen parent, they will say:
1. Listen: Listen to what they are saying. Listen to the way they are saying it. Don’t worry about having a response you want to be sure their thought is complete before you begin speaking. This type of listening with your phone and T.V. off and your ears and heart open helps your teen keep talking to you.
2. Ask: Ask them how they are doing and listen to the answer. There can be a lot of, “Fine” “Good,” but ask the follow up question, “Explain that?” Let them know you are not going to be afraid of or leave in the middle of the answer and they will tell you the real answer.
3. Check-in: Chek-in on their lives even if they grunt the answer. Your interest in the status of their friendships, passions means a lot to your teen. They know you want them to get good grades, but if you only ask about grades you miss the context in which those grades can thrive.
4. Believe: Believe in their strengths and that they have weaknesses. You want to think your teen can accomplish anything, but you should also know they aren’t perfect. They make mistakes that can have big consequences: Substance use, murder, and sexual behavior are things you may not associate with your teen, but thinking they in no way could do these things doesn’t help your teen be honest with you.
5. Responsibility: Give your teen the opportunity to prove to you and themselves that they can be responsible. Give them a curfew so they can prove they can be home on time. Give them a chore so they can show they know how to work. Allow them the crisis so they can see the clarity and personal growth that comes from it.
6. Discipline: Discipline is the structure and guidance that your teen needs. This is what gives them boundaries and prepares them for the societal boundaries expected of them as an adult. Don’t deny your teen discipline because you want to avoid the argument. The argument is part of the lesson. Be firm and consistent.
When you sit and talk to teens, they will tell you what they need from you. You need only listen and then act accordingly.
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