6 Tips on How to Check-in with your Teen
There is so little time in the day that you actually spend with your teen especially if you work outside the home. For some this may be a good thing, but with the demands of the day, it can be difficult to just check-in. How do you let your teen know that you are thinking about them, or watching them when you are not there?
Some parents are going to install a nanny cam in their teen’s room to have a sense of what’s going on. This is not recommended. The more direct approach might be to just check-in with them. When you have a good connection with your teen, they know you are aware of what is going whether you have the concrete proof or not and they will tell you. Their relationship with you believe it or not is of such value they don’t want to ruin the trust you have in them.
This process begins with simple check-ins that should be delivered in a loving way. Avoid creating a feeling that you are waiting for them to get into trouble instead aim to create a feeling that you truly are thinking about them fondly. These are a few, but please let me know if you have better ones.
1. Cell phone. There are so many concerns about whether a teen should have a cell phone. Well, use it to your advantage. Learn how to text or send an audio memo and say, “I was thinking about your exam today and wanted to wish you the best! I know you studied hard.”
2. Notes. Notes on the back of napkins in their lunch or within their notebook are a reminder that you think about them and love them. You can write a favorite quote from a song, a funny joke you two share or a simple “I Love you” will do.
3. Humor. Funny almost never goes wrong. They don’t expect you to be Jim Carey, unless you’re really that funny or maybe you are Jim Carey, but you can send a picture of you pulling your hair out at work or print a photo from a fun event you had over the weekend and write a caption like “there’s no one else I’d rather do the extreme roller coaster with at all!”
4. Electronic Mail. With so many people carrying smart phones, it is possible to send an e-mail message to your teen that can express a sentiment that is more than 140-160 characters. If you had a fight over the weekend or a misunderstanding that morning, your teen can read it on their way to school or after school. This is better if the note is an apology, continuing an argument this way is not recommended.
5. Social Media. Social media sites like Twitter and Facebook offer an opportunity to families to update each other with blocked messages that only their family can read. This can give you information about whereabouts and deliver feelings of encouragement or endearment with one fell swoop.
6. Old School Media. Ask them. These are suggestion in addition to the old tried and true. Ask them in person or make the call. Talk to them and let them know you really want to know the answer. These other methods aren’t nearly as effective without this method being utilized first and foremost.
Well, how do you check-in with your teen throughout the day?
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