8 Things you can do NOW to Prepare your Teen to Leave Home
Let’s say you weren’t able to start early and didn’t create a list while your teen was a pre-teen on things you would teach them before they left home. And if you missed preparing your teen to leave home part 2 that discussed the traits you might like to instill in your teen before they left home then this list is for you because it is everything you can do right now.
1. Food. Healthy eating may be too much to ask for, but you can still send them off knowing they aren’t completely deprived of culinary treats. Teach them how to prepare five recipes that involve basic staples that they’ll always have in the cupboard. Try and keep the perishables to a minimum e.g. fresh spices, fruits and raw veggies. Meals like pasta alfredo, rice dishes and a simple stir fry with frozen veggies go a long way. This will allow them to share a bit of home with new friends and make friends even easier since food is involved.
2. Laundry. Unless pink is the new black teach them the basics of separating laundry and looking at tags to make it easier to separate clothes. Instruct them on the basics of laundry soap and if chlorine bleach seems too dangerous, color bleach ought to help them without damaging anything. To minimize special requirements for laundry purchase clothes that are cotton and wrinkle free or requires no ironing.
3. Safety. This is a big one because it is what most parents are nervous about. You can give them the task to learn the skill. Example, task number one, How do you get home if you are at a party and don’t know they city well enough to get home using public transportation? What do you do if you are drunk and you don’t feel safe where you are? What do you do if you get into a squabble with people on your dorm floor or room? They can’t call you to get help, but they can enter important numbers to a local cab company, the police station and locate the floor resident assistant for future reference.
4. Budget. Budgeting expenses like groceries, clothes, transportation and books is very challenging and they need to figure out whether it is worth eating at restaurants and catching a quick bite on campus versus making a sandwich and carrying it in their back pack. Luxuries like laundry service, cleaning service, eating at restaurants and cocktail hour eat up a lot of dollars that could be better spent on rent or note service. If you are giving an allowance to supplement their tuition then give only that amount. Emergencies from over budgeting are part of being an adult and they should work these out on their own. A great Resource is Raising Finanacially Fit Kids.
5. Socializing. Socializing to have some connections and friends is important when you first get to campus. It should not become more important than school work, but it definitely can. Social activities like sports, clubs and joining the Greek system can take up a lot of time and resources. This can be challenging when your teen is just starting to get used to the time requirements of a college study schedule. There will be time. Remind them not to bite off more than they can chew in the begining.
6. Alcohol & Drugs. It is important to discuss safety about alcohol (opening your own drink, never letting anyone hand you a mixed drink and never drinking from a drink left unattended). Drugs are a part of being in college as well and safety precautions like knowing the people you are with and having a buddy are important here as well. Unprotected sex a common result of drugs and alcohol use. It is also involved in suicide and other harmful behaviors. For teens who have never really been involved with this scene, college is their first exposure to this world. Prepare them.
7. Health. Any chronic health problem (e.g. asthma, diabetes, seizures or anorexia nervosa) needs to continue to be managed in college. A clinician should be sought on campus or near campus. Your teen should also know which over the counter medicines should be in the medicine cabinet for a cold (decongestants), muscle aches and fever (ibuprofen).
8. Sexual and Reproductive health. Sexual health precautions are more than having your own condoms. It also involves education about reliable and long term birth control that is quickly reversible (depo provera, implanon and the intrauterine device) because it is easy to forget to take the pill when you are cramming for exams. Taking care of their reproductive health may involve normal concerns and sexually transmitted diseases(STDs). Frequent STD testing with new partners is important since over ninety percent of the time there are no symptoms for common STDs like chlamydia and genital warts.
Finally, for any medical emergency they should know their medical history (e.g. medicine allergies, family history, medical management of diseases such as asthma or seizures). This management should be explained to friends they hang out with so they know what to do if an emergency arises.
This list just covers the basics, but for more information a great resource for you is Letting Go A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years and a great resource for your teen is How to Survive your Freshman Year. Even if your teen is not leaving your home, entering the work force or still making up their mind, it is appropriate for them to learn and understand these basic survival skills.
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