Alone vs. Lonely
As a teen, there’s a lot of emphasis on connecting to other teens, hangin’ out with friends, connecting with friends in social networking, talkin’ on the phone, etc. However, there is something about being able to enjoy one’s own company. It is its own paradise and the enjoyment can empower your teen to understand the difference between being lonely and being alone.
It may seem like your teen can do this because they go to their room and it would appear as if they are in the room alone, but the computer and a cell phone can make it as crowded as a Prince concert in there. Being by yourself is very scary to some people, that is when it is lonely. They are looking for the next party, the next person to talk to, the next chat to engage in. They simply need to be able to answer the question about what they did to be an answer that includes other people. This means, NOT alone since that is lonely.
What could possibly be so scary in that head of theirs that makes them have to fill it with any garbage rather than sit with it, those thoughts. Those doubts. Those hopes. It is by sitting with these thoughts that they can question and hopefully discover what they want to do with their lives, what they really like about the guy in 5th period, whether the soliloquy by Hamlet really moved them as much as their 3rd period English teacher. It is with that solitude, that alone, that your teen can discover their desires, their passion, their likes and dislikes. This is where they develop the confidence to say, “No.” They develop the confidence to be true to the selves they now know. The alone time is precious as any parent knows. Once you are a parent, these times are rare, and yet these are the times that allow you to recharge, rejuvenate and renew.
Let your teen understand the difference between the option to sit alone rather than the powerlessness of lonely that others control. When you can sit by yourself and enjoy your own company, you don’t have to rely on the invitation of others to enjoy your evening, or your life. Your teen will be with themselves a long time, how on earth are others expected to enjoy their company if they cannot enjoy their own company?
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