Are You Calling Your Teen Fat?
Why are you eating that? Should you be eating that? Why don’t you come with me to the gym? Your teen get’s it, you think they’re fat. Is there another way to say this that isn’t quite as hurtful?
You think your trying to help, but your teen thinks you’re just an a**hole for mentioning it. This only serves to make their weight a point of contention between the two of you –NOT bring you two together, and in order for your teen to succeed, you two are going to need to work together.
So much of your teen’s self esteem is wrapped up in their body image. You know this because this is common among adults as well. No wife wants to hear their husband mention their weight. If you’re struggling with your weight you may chose to focus on your teen’s weight in order to right the wrong of your weight challenges. If you have been overweight in high school then your mission might sound like, “I just don’t want them to have to endure what I did through high school.” And, if you have no weight problem at all, you may have a more difficult time empathizing with your teen’s struggles.
A healthy weight is a great goal, but sometimes in the quest for a healthy weight it may be helpful to solicit the help of someone outside the family. Weight loss is 90% mind control and so it’s important that your teen’s thinking is in the right place. For this, they need your support so find a bad guy.
Great bad guys:
1. Pediatrician – A great source of information for the exact height versus weight measurement that is at risk. They can also send labs and help explain the medical complications of being overweight.
2. Nutritionist – They can help provide information on common misconceptions about healthy eating (e.g. juice is better than soda –it’s not by the way).
3. Specialist –This can include a specialist for the many complications of overweight or obesity (e.g. endocrinologist who manages diabetes or the orthopedist who manages joint problems).
4. Therapist – The 90% mind control can be teased out in therapy since depression and other emotional problems can be inhibitors to weight management success.
Save yourself the stress and your relationship with your teen. You have to live with your teen, get someone else to bring up their weight with them. Keep your role as support and as always if you need to make changes, make them.
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