Bullying Friends, Or No friends?
It is very difficult for a parent to consider that their teen has no friends. They see them doing things alone and not part of any crown how much more the “in crowd.” They look so lonely. Sad?
If you had the opportunity to talk to this teen, they might tell you that they don’t mind. The pool of friends they had to decide from would not make them proud to call them their friends. They didn’t want friends that bullied, cheated, bragged about bad behavior, etc.. They made the mature decision to learn to be alone and wait until someone good, better came along. What an incredible amount of self-awareness and conviction this takes. Your teen will not know this if you are always looking at them with puppy dog eyes.
Take a moment to consider what your teen has just told you about the person they are. They have integrity and refuse to be with people who are not up to their standard. They are not followers; they are independent thinkers and can make a decision about what is right and wrong. What admirable traits to see in your teen. Aren’t these the traits that you were trying to encourage? Don’t back out now because they seem lonely.
Your teen will look at your reaction to their behavior, their thoughts, their style. If they are passionate about it they may have to make a decision to forgo even your opinion, but deep down your teen would like your approval. So instead of the alternative, your teen hanging out with these negative teens, your teen made a decision to be their own person. If they can do it in this context, can imagine the decisions they will make when the choice is about drugs or sex? They don’t look so lonely now do they?
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