But, you’re supposed to do that!
You have a teen that likes to test your patience. They’ve been to juvenile hall or serious trouble more than a few times by junior year. For your relationship, trust is a word in a dictionary that has nothing to do with your actual relationship. One day you realize your teen is frustrated because you never say what a great job they’re doing attending class, doing HW and keeping out of trouble. Your response is, “But, you’re supposed to do that! What am I praising you for, being a normal kid finally?!”
Yes, maybe you have a point about the tasks being very normal, but you have a teen that has shown you boring and normal don’t come easy. They have a thinking process that makes things harder than they have to be. Yep, it sucks, but some people are this way. It’s no picnic for them either. For these people, for these teens, for your teen, it is a big deal staying out of trouble, doing what they’re supposed to do and they need constant reinforcement that they’re on the right track and doing a great job. They need constant reassurance that that they’re tracking towards earning your trust again. Please don’t crush their hopes of that by holding back on…praise?
I’m sure by now you’ve put a lot of time, money and tears into supporting your teen if they’ve been in this much trouble. Praise will not make you broke, will not take much time and will not make you cry your heart out wondering if they’re dead or alive, but what it will do is allow you to access that part of your teen that you always knew was there, the part that was glistening in the eye of the 5 year old version of them. Think of that kid and praise them back on track!
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