Does Your Teen Complain?
Your teen complains about what the coach did… What the teacher did… What their friend did. They complain and you patiently try again and again to listen and offer a suggestion or two. They respond, “Mom you just don’t get it. I can’t do that.” A day later, a week later same complaints several different suggestions later, they’re still sayin’ what they can’t do. At some point you have to tell your teen, “Change something or stop complaining.”
Hearing your teen repeatedly complain makes you feel helpless. This feeling can become frustration and evolve into anger towards your teen especially as the consequences mount due to their inaction. It’s almost as though they seem to wallow in their own pity. You can easily tell them not to complain anymore, but this is not going to help them solve the problem. They need to be moved to action to change anything. Getting them to understand what they do and don’t have control over is one way to do that.
There are doers and there are complainers. If you catch your teen being one of the complainers, it’s time to nip it in the bud. One thing you can do to change this behavior is to hold your teen accountable for their behavior contributing to the problem. Don’t let your teen complain about it until they make an effort to change something about their behavior. The easiest thing to change and the thing they have the most control over is their behavior. Once they understand this, they won’t always look outside of themselves to make their life better.
You can’t get through life complaining, or as the saying goes, “you can complain, but it doesn’t change anything.” Your teen must learn to handle difficult situations even if it’s done one small step at a time. At times, very difficult situations can be so overwhelming that a person doesn’t act at all. They procrastinate and then it’s too late. Teach your teen to make a list and make one small change at a time. Before they know it, they’ll have overcome their situation and prevailed! This will give them the confidence to feel more enpowered about problems in the future.
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