Does your Teen Have Cute Teen Syndrome?
You understandably think your teen is the most beautiful teen in the world. You‘re proud and never miss an opportunity to talk about how cute they are, but neither does anyone else. Random people, teachers, relatives are always commenting on how cute they are. You start to notice your teen gets away with a lot of stuff. Maybe, too much?
One thing about cute people, people don’t just like to look at them. They like to be around them and they like to do things for them. In the beginning it can be nice, but after a while just like a nickname (e.g. fat or dumb), it becomes a label that affects the identity development of your teen. Teens that get away with stuff because of their looks, if not guided properly, can do themselves and others more harm than good.
We all have a responsibility to our community, but special talents might give one person more responsibility. Imagine developing the polio vaccine and only giving it to the rich. Instead, Jonas Salk suggested it would be unconscionable to limit who received the vaccine. Similarly those who have the gift of beauty owe it to themselves to earn their way rather than get by. More importantly, those around them owe it to the teen to hold them accountable and let them know they are more than their looks and have a right to the pride associated with a job well done.
In intimate relationships, their looks will fade, but the integrity of their heart will last. Their looks will get them favors, but how much more if they use those favors to help others who are without. If you nurture entitlement in your cute teen, they lack empathy towards others and feel entitled to special treatment, which they can use to justify the mistreatment of others. Furthermore, they develop insecurities because they’re never sure that people like them for them rather than their looks.
Your teen should develop their sense of self not as someone who is cute, but someone who happens to be cute. They should know they’re also athletic, smart or kind, and this is when they become God’s gift to the world. Looks don’t ever make you God’s gift to the world, your teen’s good heart does.
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