Does Your Teen Know How To Say, “No?”
There is an art to saying, “No.” If your teen really means it then there is no doubt, but if there is any uncertainty well, your teen can end up with the other person thinking they were simply shy about saying, “Yes.”
Ask your self, if you have ever seen them really say, “No” to someone (besides you). If it was impressive then compliment them for this and add that there are situations where that can come in handy. Ask them, Do you think you could say, “No” that clearly if someone offered drugs or wanted to have sex with you? What if you really want them to like you, then could you say, “No” that clearly? This would challenge anyone. That’s why practice is important.
This calls for a little role play, but if you are up to it, it can really help boost your teen’s confidence about saying, “No.” For example, here is dialogue you could practice with your teen:
Drug scenario dialogue:
Drug user: Hey, you wanna try some?
Your teen: Naw, that’s okay.
Drug user: What’re you scared? A whimp?
Your teen: Naw, just not into it is all.
Drug user (teasing tone): Why? ‘fraid ya Momma’s gonna “ground” ya? You won’t get to ride your bike?
Your teen: Umm…actually yes! She is a complete bitch and she will take everything I hold dear away including my xbox 720 and NO I don’t think that’s worth it. SO I guess I am a complete dork.
Don’t be afraid to switch the roles and have your teen try and talk you into something so they can watch your skills at saying, “No.”
You can practice other scenarios like:
- The person who wants your teen to get in their car to give them instructions
- The pushy girl/boyfriend who wants them to have sex
- The friends who want them to shoplift on a dare
- Being asked to graffiti or deface school property
- Have an alcohol/drug party while parents are away
- Being asked to steal their parent’s car
- Being asked to cheat on an exam
- Being pressured to join a gang
The more you practice the better your teen will get. Really knowing how to say, “No” has to do with your teen knowing who they are and where they stand on certain issues. Sure, anyone can have poor judgment on occasion, but practicing will help them know how they feel and get them out of most situations.
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