Does Your Teen Need A Hug?

The gift of a hug“You look like you need a hug.” This is what we say if someone looks a little verclempt, upset.  This form of touch, so casual and yet when done with sincerity can be so comforting and reassuring. Your teen who has overgrown you, tried to outsmart you and can probably outrun you, still needs that hug.

 

 As teens develop strategies to seemingly push you away, you may not realize how little you touch your teen. You reach for your toddler’s hand out of safety, or helping them keep up, but teens put their hands in their pockets, or have them on their phone. Next time, try making an effort to reach for them anyway.

 

There is a shared intimacy with a hug. It is a form of comfort that can melt sometimes the most stoic teen. The act of bringing them near to you and leaving no room for them to doubt your love for them can be overwhelming if you are generous with your hugs. 

 

Don’t be shy either, eliminate back slapping and patting and instead use the subtlety of rubbing their back or squeezing them. Let them consider how genuine your closeness is rather than something that is like giving the other person koodies.  It will feel uncomfortable at first especially if you are not used to it, but they are still as mushy as they were in infancy they will melt on you, they just want to make sure they will not be pushed away or hurt.

 

Give your teen this intimacy; it will give them a path to your heart they didn’t know they could access.

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Kemi posted at 2009-12-14 Category: Parenting

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