The Truth Behind Doing the Dishes
What your teen hears when you ask them to do the dishes is, you don’t want me to relax so you’re always finding something for me to do so that I can’t do what I want to do. This is unfortunate since what your teen really needs to hear is that it is a sign of caring and thoughtfulness when you do something for someone you care about. It’s a way your teen can contribute, support and help the family reach their goals.
It’s the worse feeling to come home and with the exhaustion of the day on your shoulders and in your hair walk into chaos. It seems to be the last straw to break your back. When you see that chores that have been asked and nagged over and over again are not complete, it can feel like a personal attack. You might think, they aren’t doing the dishes because they simply hate me. They don’t want to help. They’re so entitled. What a brat! In reality, they’re simply unaware of the true meaning of completing the task.
Doing the dishes before you get home is one way your teen shows you they appreciate what you do once the dishes are done, make dinner. They demonstrate they understand how hard you work and that this is one way they can relieve you of a burden. They show how responsible they are and how much they understand that even as a teen they help the household run more smoothly and can put a smile on a weary parent’s face without cracking one joke. Doing the dishes is a way to tell someone that you love them. When you make the meal, you say you love them back!
Tell your teen what it means to do the dishes. Help them understand the real statement behind not having to remind them so they can be less thoughtless and more mindful of how their actions affect others even in seemingly small acts of kindness. Your teen might be married one day and the dynamics around doing the dishes will come up again and whether you’re the person who does the dishes or makes the meal, there’s always going to be something very loving about someone doing the dishes before you get home and have to make dinner. Now, if you can get them to make the dinner too well, you’ve raised a keeper!
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