Don’t Like the Competition?
Ohhhh! I can’t stand her. Look at her career, she has an amazing body and look at her on his arm. That rock! Ooooo she makes me sick. I hope she chokes on a carrot. Maybe instead of pointing out all the things that seem to be going well for someone else, your teen should be asking themselves why they would wish unhappiness on someone else? Then wonder what makes them so unhappy about themselves that they would hope for someone’s misfortune rather than hoping for their own fortune.
Jealous?
It’s difficult for your teen to look at their own strengths and weaknesses if they’re constantly weighing the advantages and disadvantages of being someone else. It’s only by looking at their own talents they can see what they too have that others are admiring. Your teen asking why they don’t have long legs, or a wide arm span isn’t going to make it so. After all the people they’re admiring worked with what they were born with. Isn’t that the real trait your teen should be admiring in others in the hopes to aspire to that great goal of self-acceptance themselves.
When you hear your teen remark in jealousy or envy, a gentle way to bring the discussion back to their own insecurities is to ask them, “What do you like about that trait in the person? Why do you say it like you don’t have an equally strong skill others would envy? What makes you hate someone for having success? It sounds like you don’t think you can be successful when you say that. Gently turning the conversation back to what they think of themselves can coax them into having insight into their insecurities. They should be thinking I bet with practice and hard work I could be just as good instead of wondering how they can get rid of their competition. Asking your teen about how their decisions are geared towards their success so they may one day be successful is a better use of time than tearing someone else down for having done just that.
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