Good Gossip?
You think your teen is amazing, but they’re struggling with how true they think that is. They think you say these things because you’re supposed to as though every parent gets a handbook that says, “Insert complement on skill here.” Can you imagine your teen’s surprise when they hear you tell someone else? Or hear it from someone who heard it from someone else? Think they’d believe you then?
It’s most likely poor self-esteem that makes us think the nice things people say about us are just to be nice. Somehow we aren’t as unsure of the criticism. We tend to believe that wholeheartedly. We will even add things to embellish criticism. They say it takes one hundred statements of praise to counter one negative comment. Yet we are surprised when teens don’t believe the positive stuff we tell them. Well, keep telling them, but tell someone else too.
If you’re talking about your teen to someone else your teen should hear nice things said about them. Good gossip. Now, this is different from bragging. You aren’t trying to make the other parent feel bad, you’re simply saying nice things about your teen instead of just complaining about them. Things you are proud of or things that are special. Why? Because it is the most amazing thing when a 3rd party walks up to your teen and says, “Hey! You’re the one that is so great at math. I heard you were so amazing and you helped some other students do well too. Keep up the great work! Wow!”
Can you imagine what that would feel like to get your compliment from a 3rd party? Now that ‘s some really good gossip!
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