Have An Easily Angered Teen?
“I am on probation for a fight I was in at school. This girl just kept saying stuff. She would not leave me alone. Finally she said something when no one was around and I just started wailing on her.”
Anger is a very strong emotion. This is not to say the other emotions are not, but there is something about anger that can escalate into blind rage. If you ask a teen like the one above about their emotional state just before they began “wailing,” they will frequently describe being in a trance-like state. The anger is almost intoxicating and it leads them to behavior that is done without the ability to think well enough to stop the behavior if it goes too far.
Now, of course they have the ability to stop and control their behavior, this is not the issue. The issue is why they are so easily annoyed. They think they are in control with their anger, but what should be pointed out to these teens in the gentlest way possible is how out of control they are when they behave like this. They essentially turn over their control to anyone who is smart enough to see how easily bothered they are by anything even slightly offensive.
This is important for a few reasons:
1. Your teen has no control over their lives if someone can so easily, intentionally or unintentionally, push their buttons. They need to understand what is really bothering them and then practice not letting it get to them. This is really best done with therapy.
2. When someone is this easily angered they tend to live in a constant state of volatility. They seem willing to start a fight in any situation no matter how big or small. This is not a calm state and prevents them from truly trusting and connecting with others. This will make future relationships difficult whether it is a boss, spouse or future child.
3. Anger that can become “blind rage” can be so intoxicating a high that it results in someone’s serious injury or death. Your teen needs to control their behavior before the consequences are very serious and one that they regret.
If your teen can take a look at what they are really feeling when angry, they can take back control of their lives and walk away from the fight next time without any loss of their pride. They can start changing the direction of their lives, regain control and walk away happy.
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