How Do I Love My Teen?
Every parent has a different way of showing love to their teen. There’s the saying, “Do you think I would provide for the roof over your head if I didn’t love you?” This is a bit like the excuse your spouse used to explain why they forgot your birthday or why there were no roses on Valentine’s Day. Not quite as a good an excuse when placed in those terms, huh?
Regardless of how much your teen seems to shrug off your advances of affection. POUR IT ON. No, you don’t need to use affection to embarrass them in front of their friends that is, unless you are genuinely moved, but do pour it on. They’re still as yummy as they were when they were toddlers they just don’t fit in your lap anymore.
The key is to use your words and behavior NOT your wallet. It can be very tempting to get the moody look off your teen with a brand new something or other, but let them earn the gift and get the love for free. You actually want them to think you love them and not that they can manipulate you into a false sense of affection. They know you want the affection, but you don’t realize they want it too! Use this information to gain the upper hand and persistently give your teens obvious signs of affection.
This is different from praising your teen that was discussed in an earlier post. A father joked after someone gave his teen a compliment, “Are you sure you mean my kid?” This was a perfect opportunity for this Dad to add his own affection for his teen. He did get the hint after the third compliment. Don’t let your teen wait this long to hear you chime in too.
Tell them you love them and do it often. Scenarios like “today being your or even theri last day on earth” are a great motivator, but isn’t long lived. Displaying this type of affection will allow you to see the good in your teen more than you already do. This will inspire your teen to want to please not just you but themselves. It is a great cycle that begins with a hug. If you’re not the touchy feely type try saying this to your teen after nothing in particular:
- “Man, you’re a great kid!”
- “Boy, I’m lucky to have you.”
- I’m so proud of you and all that you have accomplished
- “A friend was telling me some trouble they were having with their teen and it made me think of how you really seem to be handling things well. I couldn’t have asked for a better kid.”
- “I’m really glad to have you. You’re the best!”
How do you love your teen? Let me know if you have even better suggestions to share.
Related posts:
One Response Leave a comment