How Do You Apologize To Your Teen?
“I tried to tell my Mom several times that I was molested by my uncle. It was clear that she didn’t want to believe or hear me. I finally realized that and stopped tryin’ to tell her.”
As a parent you do the best you can with what you’ve got. This is fair. No one is perfect and there is no manual on how to be a parent, sibling, or child. However, as a parent when you see hurt in your teen’s face as a result of your actions, it should be reflex to say, “I’m sorry.”
A previous blog gives hints on how your teen can apologize, but as a commenter mentioned one way you teach your teen to apologize is by apologizing yourself. The old thinking that your teen is not someone you should have to apologize to is old school.
A direct apology whether written or face-to-face shows your imperfection and humanity to your teen. This is parenting. You show your teen that it’s okay to be wrong, or make a wrong decision and own it by saying, “Sorry.”
The Mom of the teen in the first paragraph never told her teen that she really heard her and just couldn’t handle it. As a result, this teen never trusted her Mom and never told her anything about her life good or bad. This Mom as a result of her limitations ended up missing out on her daughter’s life.
When you apologize to your teen, they admire you. With this admiration comes respect and you end up with the ideal teen you knew was there. Parenting is too imperfect a process to think you are too big to apologize to your teen.
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