How Does Your Family Check-in?
You know your life is less busy since your teen is more independent than they were as a 5 month old, but somehow your idea of a family hanging out together seems impossible with everyone going everywhere to get everything done. In this world of chaos it is very easy for teens to get lost in the shuffle and become disconnected. With everything so busy, your teen can get the impression that were they to need you, they would be a burden.
This is why the check-in is so important. Take a moment that is unrushed and full of patience to hear your teen tell you about their lives. This way they still feel connected to you so they come to you with what is on their mind. Even if nothing is wrong, you stay in touch enough to know how they are maturing into the adults you are raising. Here are some ideas:
1.Family Meeting
Have a weekly family meeting. A family mission statement and rules should be established early so everyone knows the goals and rules of engagement. This is an opportunity for your family to discuss anything from something serious like a family move, death or divorce to something fun like a family vacation, volunteer opportunity or donation.
2.Church
If you attend church every Sunday for example, a regular activity can be associated with it like a meal. Here, discussions about your teen’s lives, the community or the world can occur.
3.Exercise
In this time of early onset diabetes due to being overweight instituting some type of family exercise to stress the importance of activity is a great way to connect as a family. Whether you run, row, bike or swim these are great times to share while instilling long term good habits and possibly a little competition. You can round out the day grocery shopping for the week and cooking healthy meals together. It can really instill a well-rounded sense of well-being from emotional love, healthy food and activity.
4.Movie Nights
There is nothing like the sound of your teen’s laughter to connect you to your teen. Enjoying entertainment that makes you laugh, cry or share other emotions can help seal or start a bond with your teen. Its also a great way to bring up difficult topics that you should discuss with your teen.
5.Reading night
Hanging out reading together may not seem like an activity that can connect the family, but if you’re all reading the same thing and discuss the issues that come up in the reading, or you each choose a book by topic and have all the books approach different aspects of the topic, it really can be an opportunity to have healthy debate and research on interesting topics like the conflict in Ireland or Gaza.
The security of family is what makes teens emotionally strong. When something is wrong with your teen it’s very important to identify the breakdown in that connection before thinking everything wrong is with your teen.
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