I have this friend…
I have this friend…has your teen ever asked you about their “friend?” You know the friend who always seems to be questioning the right or wrong way to do things. They usually have an idea of what is right, but your teen, um your teen’s friend wants to know if anyone would support the wrong way at all. Anyone? Please somebody have an open mind they’re thinking. Ever have the thought that your teen is really talking about themselves? Good.
This isn’t about jumping to conclusions and your teen does have friends whose behavior they would like to ask you about. No, this is more about you being mindful in the way you choose to answer the question, or dilemma. You need to be mindful that your teen may be unsure about the way you would react and wants to know through a similar scenario that a “friend” is going through. This way they can consult you without facing what might be your judgment and criticism.
Unfortunately, if they’re really speaking about themselves and your response is very critical, or judgmental it can change how they come to you for help or advice in the future. It isn’t just an elephant that never forgets. So if you’re not thinking anything of it, you’ll end up giving your teen the judgment they were trying to avoid since they know the question is really about them.
A good rule of thumb is to treat any questions about a “friend” as though it were about your teen unless you have good evidence to the contrary. If you can use more patience and less judgment to help your teen’s “friend,” your teen will leave with the good feeling that you might show the same compassion towards them. This can only make them want to come to you more with things that concern them or very big problems and that is a good thing!
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