I Want My Teen To Be The Best
You want your teen to be the best. Duh, who’s the parent who is hoping for worst? Honestly, no parent wants their teen to come home with the Fs. But for the teen that is struggling, hearing you tell them they have to be the best may serve to destroy their spirits rather than inspire them to conquer the world.
Rather than have your teen be the best at everything, with their help figure out what they are good at and support them in being the best at that. This is when you will get the most from your teen generating a desire to push themselves as much or more than you do, but you are giong to get much more out of your teen if you let them take the lead on the pressure to be the best.
Coming home to a parent’s unmet expectations even though you have done your best is the worst blow to your teen’s self-esteem. Instead of motivation and a desire to be better, your teen will give up, fail and retreat from your company. They will avoid you in an effort to avoid the disappointment they can see in your face. To cope, your teen may resort to eating disorders or substance use to forget the feelings of worthlessness this cycle can create. This makes it hard for any future adult to have any expectation or positive effect on your teen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting your teen to be the best, but wanting them to be the best for “best” sake can really hurt your teen’s sense of self and value. Your teen has the potential to be great at something. Figure out what that is and support them in being the best at that.
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