Is Your Teen’s Boyfriend Your Friend?

You may not like that your teen has started dating, but one thing you should always strive to do is keep yourself in your teen’s and their significant other’s good graces. This will give you an opportunity to do a few things.

1. Another Voice of Reason
When your teen engages in high risk behavior, your teen’s significant other may be one of the other people you can get to echo your thoughts. Not by pulling them aside and conspiring behind your teen’s back, but with your teen’s permission allowing their significant other to know you are concerned about something regarding your teen. Ask your teen if it is okay that their significant other help hold them accountable.

2. Vetting
A great way to vet or check out the value system of the person your teen is dating is to be around them. Talk to them. Ask them questions about their thoughts on certain issues and situations. This will help you know who your teen has chosen and the more comfortable you are with them, the more comfortable you will be with your teen’s decisions regarding that person.

3. Confidante
You want to maintain your status as a confidante. If there is anything going on that your teen has questions about in terms of the normal way a relationship works. You can best help if you are aware. If you choose to voice your opinions about your dislike of them dating or dislike of the significant other, you become someone they must join forces against to be right. You become the enemy even if the enemy is really their partner. Don’t make your teen have to dig in when they really need your wisdom. They will not ask for it without knowing they have your support not your I told you so.

So before you get grumpy and unsettled about your teen having a significant other, take a moment to consider these upsides and discover a new way to support and learn about your teen. It serves no purpose to deny them the amazing feeling of being loved by someone besides their family other than stunting their development and making them lie to you.

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