Five Tips to Get to Know Your Teen Better
Getting to know your teen better is the basis of a good relationship with your teen. There are easy ways to learn more about your teen even if you think you have nothing in common, or that your teen wants nothing to do with you.
1. Games: Although any game that allows your teen to talk while the distraction of an activity continues is great, conversational games afford even more insight on how your teen thinks about topics (e.g. Trivial Pursuit or Truth or Dare).
2. Movies: I think movies are an excellent way to get your teen talking about a topic. It is another chance to learn how your teen thinks about issues from drinking to sex. It can also be a great way to screen what your teen is watching.
3. Music: The differences in musical tastes between the generations is an ongoing subject of debate, but why not bridge the divide by asking your teen to download some songs onto your MP3 player then discuss why certain songs mean something to them or you.
4. Crisis: A crisis in yours or another family is another way to watch how your teen thinks and reacts. Do they offer to help out? Do they become overwhelmed and need support? It is important not to assume that you know how your teen will react since this may look like judging to them. Judging can cause feelings of anger and resentment so give your teen the space to figure out what they think about the situation. They may surprise you and in doing so give you more confidence in their future decisions.
5. Listening: I think listening may be the single most important thing you can do to learn more about your teen. Your teen is frequently trying to tell you who they are. Their concern that you may not be able to accept who they are keeps them silent. Listening to them and really hearing what your teen has to say will give you the information you need to help guide them.
Teens need you throughout their teen years. Never think that because they seem to push you away that they are ready to be independent. Be persistent and get to know your teen so that you can be there for them when they need you.
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