New Kid on the Block
One of the hardest things your teen will do is move mid-high school. If your teen has a great network of friends and extracurricular involvement especially in their last year of high school, be prepared for a huge battle.
Starting high school or even middle school is a big deal in and of itself, but to do this in the middle of your teen’s high school career can take that feeling of not belonging to another level. There is no sense of the new school’s customs or language. Your teen will find themselves completely out of their element. If they have a good sense of who they are or simply care more about their academic performance than they do socializing, this may be a minor issue. However for most teens this is a big enough issue that they may propose things like remaining behind for the move.
What can happen if you do need to move and you have a teen that has a very strong connection to friends they are leaving behind is a huge rebellion: Running away, belligerence, family stress are only some of the things you may be in for. If your teen doesn’t live close enough to run away to old friend’s homes, you may get an absolute numbness from your teen manifest as school failure, substance use or eating disorders, which allow your teen to control some aspect of their lives when they feel they can’t control any aspect of their life.
Chances are that if you’re moving there is a very good reason: job, financial burden or improvement, family, etc. but still if at all possible consider the position you put your teen in and prepare them so they have plenty of time to say good-bye to friends and if possible work out a way they can complete their high school career with old friends. You might also consider sending them early to their new school so they can participate in end of the year or summer programs to meet some of the students. Even if you’re moving for your teen’s own good, it’s still important to include them in talks irrespective of their chance to change your mind. This type of consideration helps them feel in some control over their lives and makes it more difficult for them to blame you for their disappointment.
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