Preparing your Teen to leave Home part 1
Congratulations, you’re the parent of a teen. It’s now time to start letting go. Obviously, you are still going to be there for your teen, but they really have to start doing things for themselves in order to get the practice they need BEFORE they leave home.
Prepare to make a list
In order to let go more easily, you have to feel confident that your teen is going to be able to take care of themselves. A great way to start is by you sitting with pen and paper and making a list. What is on the list you may ask? Tasks. Tasks they should be able to do on their own before leaving home. Start early to get them all or near done by senior year of high school. And realize, that you may continue teaching or re-teach parts of the list after high school. So, I am hoping you start writing this list in middle school or sooner.
What should I put on the list?
What is on the list? Things that go on the list are tasks or skills that would make them a great roommate for a spouse, friend or a good co-worker. Skills that would help them feel taken care of although you are not there to do everything for them. Skills that would be considered admirable for a potential employer or a future teen that will look up to them one day. Hopefully, the list is going to organize their high school or teen years for you and allow you to look at the mishaps of teen years as another opportunity to teach them about adulthood rather than get frustrated.
Here’s an example of a list that you should expand upon.
Basic duties:
Laundry
Prepare five healthy meals
Shop for a cell phone
Read a rental agreement in case they have to break a lease. Month to month is better sometimes.
Manners:
Saying and writing a note to say thank you after job interviews or a nice gesture.
Getting up for the elderly or pregnant on a bus.
The art of a good hand shake
Standing up for the underrepresented.
Financial:
Negotiate a car purchase. A new car is not always economical.
A sale item is not always a needed item. So, the money is wasted anyway.
Stocking up on food staples during sales.
Online banking to keep track of money in and money out.
Medical:
The cold medicines everyone needs to have in their medicine cabinet.
Know they medicines you are on if any and what they are used for.
Know their family history
Know their medical history
Travel:
How to book a plane, train or bus ticket.
How to plan for connections and lay overs.
How to manage money as a tourist (meals and trinkets)
How to be a polite tourist
Socializing:
Designate the driver.
Especially for single teen girls, have a buddy system with social drinking and watch for each other.
Tell people where you are so if something happens they can trace your steps.
Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of a newspaper. You never know who is going to be famous enough to have that picture matter.
Now, you can’t prepare them for everything, but the list is a great start. It will help them feel like they have some mastery over what it takes to run their own life and household. Their confidence is going to allow them to make good choices and not be so fearful of experimenting. And, watching them make good choices is going to ease the transition for both of you and make it easier to let go.
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