Raising The White Flag

You’re engaged in a battle of wills. Its you and your teen and its not clear who will break the silence first. You’re stuck on your teen being so rude that you feel they need to apologize and so you wait. You fold your arms like a 5 year old pout and wait. It never comes. It never comes because you forgot that you’re the adult. You’re the role model, and you’re the one who is supposed to teach your teen how to be gracious.

Even when you have a disagreement with your teen there is a lesson to be taught about humility and waiving the white flag. You do it first because you want to show them that it can be done and even if you know you’re right (It won’t be the last time), you can hear what the other side has to say. There is nothing wrong with listening. It doesn’t mean you agree and in this situation it certainly allows you to learn something about your teen. The way they think. This is what allows you both to feel connected to each other. Your teen will almost always apologize right after you do, but they need a way out of the silence without looking like they are weak. Your apologizing first does this for them.

If you hold out speaking to your teen and wait for your teen to come to you, you lose more than your relationship with your teen. You lose your teen’s respect. You want to be the one to set the bar high for how you apologize. How you waive the white flag of surrender because if there is anyone that you want to know that a side is willing to negotiate, it’s your teen’s.

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