Sibling Bullying
You hear your teens going at it again. You wish they would stop fighting, but you also know that siblings fight. What can you do? How are you sure that its more than a normal sibling spat?
Ms Radcliff: Her sister loves her to death. She would die for her
Doc: Ms Radcliff, Your daughter doesn’t think her older sister loves her to death. She just told me she calls her names like “f****n b**ch!” That doesn’t sound like love to me.
Ms Radcliff: Well, her older sister calls me that too.
If your teens are fighting with fists and harsh words, they probably need your help and not your nonchalance. Siblings who fight is nothing new, but the degree of violence may be new to you. Name calling, harsh teasing and fist fighting among siblings should be stopped at all costs.
When you act as though this is normal you miss an opportunity to let the bullied sibling know that they are safe at home, you care and they are loved and cared for. When you leave them to their own devices, they learn that home is not a safe place and ultimately feel alone. Home is not where your teen should have this feeling.
What can you do if your teen is bullying your other teen or child?
1. Safe Zone. if your older teen is old enough to live on their own, they should. Living in your household should require at least the rule that everyone feels safe there. If other family members are not safe with your older teen, your older teen should find somewhere else to live.
2. Seek Help. There is no manual on how to handle a sibling bullying another sibling. This is outside of the normal parenting scope. You need to seek help. Mental health professionals are probably the best equipped for this. They can get at the core of the family dynamics and help create a more peaceful if not loving home environment.
3. Asses Your role. This is more than blame Mom for everything. This is about examining your relationship with each child. Do you unknowingly have a favorite and the bullying is acting out this feeling of rejection by you? Looking at how you may be parenting them differently is another place to evaluate the influence of one teen bullying another.
Bullying whether it is in or outside of the home is not okay. Keep your teen safe wherever the bullying occurs.
Resources:
Bullying.org
Stop Bullying Now
Education .com
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