Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious!
This is a big word from the movie Mary Poppins. It rolls off her tongue in the movie, but the first time you see it, the 34 letters just overwhelm you. Your teen feels like that when they are faced with a big problem or challenge. Issues like whether or not to have sex and wondering if they can get away with cheating are huge problems that your teen may face, but like that 34 letter word, they will need to break it down into the smaller pieces in order to solve their big problems.
What your teen needs from you in order to do this well is a little breathing room and probably a silent prayer. Problems can frustrate and fluster your teen and this can make them regress so that you help them or rather do it for them. As much as possible, don’t take the bait and instead offer guidance.
Guidance comes in the way of showing them the little things they know how to do that when strung together allow them to solve the big problem. Like the fancy word that Mary Poppins says, it is easiest to say when you break it into very small pieces or the syllables. So it isn’t that they can’t afford the car, it is that they must do the research on what is necessary to buy a car, take those steps and then check each off as they complete each requirement. With each task completed, they are closer to their desired goal and problem solved! This is the same skill set required to investigate a college, obtain birth control or a termination. Whatever it is, you are going to have more confidence in whom your teen will be when they leave your home if you let them do this on their own. Almost every problem can be solved with patience and a good deal of creativity.
Life only gets more challenging as your teen leaves your home. There will be problems they will tell you about and some they are going to have to man up and do on their own. If you teach them the skills for the problems you know about, you have a great idea of what they will do for the problems you don’t know about. This will give you more confidence in them and they in turn will have more confidence in themselves. Remember, Su-per-cali-fragi-listic-ex-peal-i-docious!
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