If your teen was able to hear all the things you say about them when they’re not around would they feel like you were proud of them? Would they think you loved them? Would your gossip be taken as positive?
Teens have an interesting love hate relationship with how you interact with them. They want to know you’re there when they need you, but they have this very strong desire to be who they are or do things their way. If you think about this your desire to do things your way is the same thing. This is part of becoming an adult. You should be prepared to step back and agree to disagree as the saying goes. But this doesn’t mean their disagreement makes them a bad kid.
How you speak about your teen offers them insight into what you really think about them. Your words or gossip have an interesting way of coming back to them in someone else’s crass joke or teasing or in someone’s complement when they add to hearing about what a superstar they are. Your teen has fought a lot of voices in their head in order to share their opinion with you, they share who they’re becoming with you in these moments. Discussing their opinion with negative words behind their back shows your disrespect for opinions different from yours. It also shows your disrespect for your teen. I don’t think you want that coming back to them through someone else’s words.
Tags: teen parenting