The Original Gang, Family
Does your teen walk a few paces ahead of you? Do they ask you to pick them up down the street? Are they slow to introduce you when they are with their friends? Yes, this is normal teen behavior. But don’t misunderstand it, your teen loves to hear you stick up for them to their teachers, they love making you proud and they love when the only gang affiliation they need is “The insert your last name here.”
Yes, family is the original gang your teen belongs to. And like a street gang pretends to be, the family you are born into is your true source of love and support. Your family has rules, you may even have a certain dress code i.e. conservative, you have loyalty and a feeling of belonging. These are the things that matter the most to teens. A feeling of belonging. If they don’t get it from their birth family, like a moth to a flame they will seek it out from a cult, street gang, another family or seek to have a family of their own too early.
This is why it is so important that that you remind yourself, while your teen struggles for independence from you, they are not rejecting you. If you can remember this you will provide your teen an environment where they develop their independence while maintaining a connection to their family. If you take their struggle too personally and reject your teen in some way, as if you’re punishing them for growing up, they will seek that sense of belonging elsewhere. This is a great loss because they can seriously cut you out of their lives.
You aren’t just the parent; you’re the original gangster, O.G.. You thought up the name of the gang, you know the history of how the gang started (your love story) and you want to keep it’s members or the gang (family) dies. Let your teen know you consider them a life member by making them feel wanted even as they start to think for themselves, which may be different from you.
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