The Ripple of Being Gracious
Your teen learns to say thank you when you tell them to say it, but more when they watch you say thank you. But what if someone compliments you on say, your looks? What do you say then? How do respond then if you have always been considered beautiful. Does the compliment get sort of old so you blow off the compliment?
Your teen is always watching you and so they learn more from what you do rather than what you say. Because it’s hard to know what happened before someone gives you a compliment, it’s important to realize that you teach your teen how to accept positive statements about them when you receive this type of compliment graciously. A simple, “Thank you. You’re so kind to say so.” Is enough to give a great feeling back to the person who took the time to make the compliment and sends a message to your teen that you’re not just concerned with the negative things people say to you.
Why is this? It’s because we remember and internalize the negative things said about us much easier than the positive things said about us. Your teen will tell you when someone has made a negative comment or character building statement about them. They will shrug off anything positive as an exaggeration, bias or even untruth.
When you believe and respect the compliments no matter what they’re about irrespective of what you think about the thing they are complementing, you teach your teen to do the same. They need to understand there are in reality more nice things to say about them, they need to hear and internalize those positive compliments as, if not more, easily than they do negative things that are said.
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