Wedding, I Mean Prom Night
When you think about it, getting the date, the dress, and sometimes a limo, can make prom have such a close resemblance to getting married that there’s no surprise that teens think of prom night as a kind of wedding night.
No parent is going to get that call, “Mom, I was just calling to let you know that I’m about to lose my virginity. Anything you think I should know?” You wish, or maybe you don’t. Whether you’re this open with your teen or not, you should know that your teen will one day make a decision to lose their virginity or to have intercourse. Because prom night is also associated with drinking and other substance use, it’s very important to prepare yourself for a clear discussion of preventive measures. Hopefully you have been chatting all along, but in the event you haven’t here are some things you should know.
Please note: If you’re queasy or shy about sex, you may want to make sure your teen is
in the room when you read this. I want them to know because I hate telling teens they’re pregnant or have STDs. I prefer you tell them though. If it’s that bad, just print this up and have them read it. They can e-mail for any questions.
1. Birth control
All birth control save the paragard or copper IUD is going to start working in seven days when it is started off your teen’s menstrual cycle. They should not think they can get birth control in less than seven days and have it be working by prom night. It’s not working until after seven days.
2. Condoms
Condoms require lubrication with a nonoil base to work well. They break because they dry up or there isn’t enough room at the tip when he puts it on. Condoms should be put on before ANY contact with the vagina. They should never be reused and they should always be lubricated with a water or silicon based lubricant that does not have nonoxynol 9. Unlubricated condoms are for oral sex on the penis, but dental dams can be used on the vagina or anus. Finger cots (mini condoms for the fingers) can be used over the fingers for safe fingering of the vagina or anus and never use animal skin condoms only latex or nonlatex.
3. Plan B (the morning after pill or emergency contraception)
Plan B, morning after pill or emergency contraception
Plan B is back up. It should not be your teen’s regular method of birth control. However, if you didn’t happen to discuss the above concerns, then a word about Plan B, it’s not an abortion pill. If the teen is pregnant it does nothing to the fetus. So, if you are the parent who was told the day after prom that your teen had unprotected sex prom night then they have 5 days to get their hands on some Plan B. The sooner the better because it’s 95% effective on the first day, but 75% effective on the fifth day.
4. Plan A
Prom is not and should not be about sex. It should not be about getting so drunk or stoned you forget what happened. Plan A is always a great option because it asks that teens be abstinent of intercourse and substances of abuse. Notice to parents, abstinent of intercourse. There’s a lot to do before intercourse and one would be naïve to think that foreplay wasn’t going to happen, but the hope is that it would take more than a pretty dress and a corsage to lose one’s virginity.
So plan A, but please don’t be so hung up on what your fantasy is for the evening that you forget what your teen’s fantasy may be for the evening. By the way if your wondering, go ask them. This is their night and you have done all you can to help them make good decisions. It’s up to them now. All that is asked of you is that you prepare them to make those good decisions with accurate and thorough information.
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