What Can Parents Learn From Tiger?
Preparing for a game is simple once you know what to do. That’s what your coach is for. Preparing for college is also moderately easy to do because others have gone before your teen and there are plenty of resources to let you know what you might expect, but try preparing for fame. Who does that? In the old days, Berry Gordy would prepare his talent with choreographers, manners coaches and stylists, but who does that in sports?
The recent Tiger Woods scandal was probably such a shocker because as Roger Tillis of Viewmysport.com states, “What is ironic is that Tiger Woods was one of the athletes that the press, society and peers all regarded so highly! Phrases like “mature beyond his age” and “determined, focused, mature and respectful” were all on the same line as Tiger. He was truly a fantastic example of how “to be” as an athlete or really, a person.” Tiger became a little more human that day. An ordinary human being who plays an exceptional game of golf.
The diagnosis of “Sex Addiction” is actually not in the DSM or book of mental health disorders, there are varying opinions on what it even is, but what is somewhat clear through the fog is that sex addiction is a bad coping mechanism to manage historic pain. These are coping mechanisms that develop from experiences while growing up at one of the most formative times of your life, the teens. This is when Tiger found out his father was cheating on his Mom. Not only did he know this, but he was aware that when his Dad was out of the home that he was most likely with a mistress. This is a lot for a teen who holds their dad in high regard. It is even more mind boggling to have that Dad then turn around and hold their teen to a higher moral code through a demanding work ethic and social decorum.
For some teens they will have eating disorders, drug addiction, and alcoholism to cope. For Tiger who cried over his Dad’s affairs in his teen years especially as he transitioned to Stanford, it was sex addiction. The teen years are tough enough and no teen should have to deal with a Dad being that open about disrespecting their Mom through adultery. It clearly did not make sense to Tiger and one might say he has spent the last several years trying to make sense of it while holding his Dad up like all teens as his “role model.”
Teens whether they are prodigies or “ordinary” need adult support to thrive. To truly thrive they need someone to help them make sense of things especially when they really don’t make sense. Your teen knows about Tiger Woods because he is famous, but your teen also knows someone in his class or maybe it is your teen that needs the extra support. Someone should have given Tiger that support through counseling and holding him accountable for bad coping mechanisms they must have seen before that text message. Someone should have cared enough to choreograph more than his public appearances, but his healing process too.
Related posts:
