What is the Legacy you will leave your Teen?
Michael Jackson History
This week was the memorial service for the great entertainer, Michael Jackson. It is possible that we learned more about Mr. Jackson this week than ever before. He was in the Guinness book of world records for several records broken, has been the celebrity to have donated the most money to charities and the single largest donor to the Negro College Fund. Wow! He is said to have laid out a will so perfect that the transition for his children after his death is technically effortless. As his children grow, what image of their father will confront them? Mr. Jackson’s death not being anticipated the usual bibliographies and life stories are not there. How much control will he have over that?
The Legacy of you
In addition to the financial security that you leave your teens, it is important to consider what you leave as the legacy of your memory. Losong your parent as a teen is difficult because they look to their parent to figure out their own identity. All teens struggle with their identity, but adopted teens and abandoned teens struggle with this even more despite the abandonment being unintentional.
Document your history
Tell your story. Tell your teen who you were and how you became who you are now. For your teen, you started living when they were born. They know that is’nt really true, but it’s hard for them to believe you were a teen too. Demystify who you are by telling them about who you were then. This will help them put you in context. It will allow your discipline to be clear to them and it will allow them to have compassion for your imperfections rather than criticizing them. You will make sense and then they will make sense to themselves.
What do I do?
There are so many ways that you can begin to let your teen know who you are. Here are some ideas:
1. Write it down. You can write a long essay, a few pages or a book on your life as you remember it. If you are feeling very courageous and your parents are still alive or you have siblings or cousins ask them to write their version of the same memory.
2. Photograph it. Collect pictures and write a captions under the picture to tell the story, or document memories.
3. Record it. It is easy enough to make a recording of anyone by simply leaving a message on a message machine or using the voice recorder on a cell phone. Any digital camera with movie making capabilities can also record or use a DVD recorder. Write down questions for you and/or others to answer and just get it on chip.
4. Online Resources. There are several online resources desgined to help you fill out your fmaily tree and ancestry. Ancestry.com is such a site helping people connect with lost members of their familytree and putting the family tree that is known togther.
Don’t have regret
Few people are aware of the day or circumstances under which they will die. A teen lost her Mom when she was six walking home from school. Her Dad sent her off soon after to complete school abroad in a boarding school. She was in no position to ask her father, grandparents or uncles what her Mom was like. She was unable to protect and nurture a memory. She would like to know. She cries at night quietly for her mother. She is still mourning and it is ten years later. Leave something of you for your teens and their future children. Help them put the pieces of you together whether you are there are not. Hopefully you will be, but you never know.
For a great list of other things to begin to prepare as part of your estate check out this great list by Nolo.
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