You Rock! And You Know That!
What was the thing that your teen did yesterday that made you complement them big time?! Come on…was it a comment they made in church? They did a chore without being asked? They offered to make dinner? I know, they cleaned the kitchen and whistled while they cleaned instead of the normal grumbling. But you ask, What if you didn’t complement your teen on anything they did yesterday?
That is why there is tomorrow, which is today. Today is the first day of a commitment you can make to yourself to complement your teen on something they did that day and every day for a week. Let’s start there. If you forget a day here and there for the week it is okay, but it really works if you can do this every day. Everyone loves being acknowledged for what they do. Every one. We don’t all want it the same way, but telling your teen when they are doing a great job allows them to recognize the behavior you enjoy the most. This is a subtle way of saying, “Yeah, do more of that.”
This is a better message than the usual, “don’t do that.” “I hate it when you do that” “Could you please not do that?!” Hearing don’t do doesn’t help you know what to do. But a complement, now you’re talkin’. Don’t believe me? Have you ever had a co-worker or anyone for that matter complement you on something you were wearing? Did you tend to wear that outfit a lot after that? Or, maybe you reserved it as your “fabulous outfit.” Whatever you chose to do, the point is that it feels good to be told we are doing something right.
Do this for your teen. They have so much they are trying to get right: school, relationships, work, money, siblings, friends, parents, the list goes on. Let them know they got one right. By the end of the week, I think you’re going to find a more confident teen. A happier teen. A teen who is less defensive when you come talk to them because you just might be there to let them know something they did right for a change.
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