Your Teen’s First Real Love
Your teen’s first real love may not only take them by storm, but you. You who has cared for them and met their needs now must make room for someone else who wants to love them.
When your teen falls in love, that transfer of feelings can bring up some emotions for you as well. These feelings can affect your relationship with your teen and their new partner. Your jealousy can cause behavior that makes them exclude you even more. In order for your teen to grow and freely connect with others, they would like to have your permission to love someone else as they have loved you. This separation can be hard on parents who have been the primary object of their teen’s affection.
So if all else fails, here are some things to remember:
1. Just like when you left them in childcare when they were toddlers, you will still be remembered at the end of the day. Their love and attachment to you does not go away because other significant people enter their lives.
2. Your teen’s heart is big enough to love more than one person. It can seem like this new person is taking your teen away from you, since they consume so much of their mental energy, but you’re still a significant person in their lives. After all, it is the love you have shown them that gives them the confidence to love someone else.
3. The struggle is for your teen to separate from you and learn how to stand on their own. If they don’t do this, they can’t head their household as a primary caretaker. Holding on too tightly or acting out your jealousy through disingenuous support of your teen’s new relationship will only ensure that you aren’t able to have a place in your teen’s new life. At some point your teen must make the decision to be the head of a new household, this is easier and they are better at it with your support
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