Your Teen’s Integrity
Your teen’s adherence to a strict moral code when no one is watching is their integrity. It’s best when they can do this when no one is watching. It’s best when they can do this when you are not watching. That is when it is integrity. When they can only do this when you are watching it is called nagging.
The goal of parenting is to make your teen independent. This isn’t only important with things like laundry, cooking and finances. It’s also about the ability to make moral decisions without your presence, your physical presence that is.
Your teen always carries you with them even when you think they don’t. You’re the angel or devil on their shoulders. They debate your thoughts with that of their own all the time. When they truly agree with you then they choose the way you do. This is usually when you have instilled in them the reason for your decisions and taught them why those are your decisions. When you teach them the decisions have the potential to become theirs. When they choose the way you do because you demand or check and double check well, you never really learn if the decision can be theirs. You just know they are making the decision you want them to make.
Let them have the pride of making a good decision because of your teaching rather than your nagging. It does their self-esteem good, and it does your confidence in your teen wonders.
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