Your Teen’s Quest for True Happiness
You do a lot for your teen. Some things are needs while others are wants. For caregivers, there can be a high associated with putting that smile on your teen’s face because of something you have done. However, don’t be mislead, your teen’s happiness isn’t really associated with receiving gifts from you or anyone else, your teen’s ultimate happiness will come from them.
Teens are no different from many adults; they look for things outside of them to make them happy. “When I grow up I want to make a lot of money,” “I want to drive a nice car” and “I want to be famous” “Famous or what?” “Who cares, I just want to be famous.”Money, cars and fame can bring a lot of attention of course and a lot of fanatics, but happiness? The attention and the fans and even a great gift or attention from Mom and Dad can’t make a teen happy who isn’t happy. No, the work of making them happy comes from them. It comes from within.
Help your teen understand this by saying, “No” to the things they think will make them happy like you purchasing a car, getting that outfit for prom or taking that trip to Mexico for Spring break. Gently challenge them to consider this by adding to your no, “You know, if I thought it would really make you happy, I would do it, but if you aren’t happy with what you have now then I’m afraid the happiness you get from a car, piece of clothing or trip will only be short-lived.”
In other words, if they would like the things, but understand they don’t need those things to be happy then by all means you may want to get it for them, but if their happiness depends on those things well that’s not about happiness. Their want is about trying to make them feel whole through material things and this never works.
Another way to do this is to counter what they complain about. For example, they mention that it was a horrible day because they weren’t able to get their pay check; you can counter, “It must be nice though with so many people out of work to have a pay check to pick up. I mean, you really are a fortunate person.”
Happiness resides within your teen when they are satisfied with what they have whether that is money, a body type or certain ability. Because if they aren’t happy with what they have well, when they have more, they still won’t be happy.
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