Your Teen’s Trust Issues (Eminem’s Space Bound)
Something that every teen no matter how high or low maintenance needs is consistency. This is true even when your consistency requires they are denied or lose the thing they supposedly want: university scholarship, first love, mentor, night out with friends, etc. It is of the utmost importance that teens trust those who care for them. Your consistency helps secure that trust. Teens are incredibly hard to win back once that trust is lost.
Space Bound by Eminem
Cuz you just, did the impossible, gained my trust
Don’t play games it’ll be dangerous if you f**k me over
Cuz if I get burnt, I’ma show ya what it’s like to hurt
Cuz I’ve been treated like dirt befo’ ya
Eminem is talking about someone he loves, but for teens it could be anyone they hope to be close to or have some sort of relationship with. If you can keep this in the back of your head you can understand as a parent why they are so unforgiving when adults in their lives break promises. This is why a parent who breaks promises about visitation, showing up at games or a certain behavior’s reward can be so loathed by their teen. Eminem is reminding you of your teen’s pain when they are let down by saying he will make someone hurt if his emotions are mistreated. This broken promise can create a feeling of being alone since they feel they cannot trust anyone after being disappointed like this. Now of course they can and hopefully they will trust again, but for the teen mind the hurt is so real and raw it can cause them to repel any close contact, or mushiness. This is the teen who is stoic about their emotions even if they are crying inside.
Nobody knows me, I’m cold, walk down this road all alone
It’s noone’s fault but my own, it’s the path I’ve chosen to go
As a parent, your teen has placed so much trust in you. This is what gives you such great power and influence with your teen. How you choose to use your power and more importantly prioritize your teen on your “To Do” list will determine how much they understand that you are there for them. It will also serve as the foundation for how they relate to and trust others.
promise me if I cave in and break
And leave myself open that I won’t be makin’ a mistake
This seemingly little thing will influence how they extend themselves to others and whether they can open themselves up to feel the emotions of others. Immature coping like laughing in response to a very emotional issue or changing the subject are used when your teen wants to avoid being vulnerable. Your teen will have a very difficult time in future relationships without being able to trust others with their vulnerability so this is a crucial life skill to learn.
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