It’s Complicated
“It’s complicated” This is your teen’s response after you check in to ask how their recent relationship is going. “Hmph!” You think to yourself, “complicated?” What does that mean? So your teen goes through this meandering road of a story to explain that they sort of are, but sort of aren’t still dating. You think to yourself, “that relationship is over.”
Knowing when to let go of a relationship can be hard especially when you don’t really want the relationship to be over. However, learning how to be clear about the end of a relationship is a great way your teen can begin to understand their worth and the importance of teaching people how they should treat them.
When your teen is having a tough time letting go of a relationship that has been giving clear signs that it is over, they may use language like “it’s complicated” to explain that they still have feelings about someone that wants to break up with them. Use your compassion for their situation to show them how they actually set themselves up for being mistreated when they do this, when they can’t let go. They communicate to this person that they have no value in the relationship and give all their power away.
This is such an important lesson to teach your teen early in their life. Understanding this lesson can be the difference in how your teen appreciates their value in future relationship. It can be the difference in how your teen maintains their self-esteem to make better decisions about when to become sexually active in a relationship; and it can be the difference in your teen’s decision on how far to take any intimacy not in an effort to keep a relationship, but because they know it feels right to express themselves that way.
When it comes to relationships, things can seem complicated, but if your teen thinks about it the right way, it’s just about whether you really want to be with someone or not, or they really want to be with you. You can’t make them love you, but you can always demonstrate behavior that shows you love yourself. This, is never complicated.
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