Sometimes your teen will grab a concept from the future and learn it early. They’ll be given an opportunity to look into the future of what their life might be were it to continue on the same course it’s on and they make a decision that alters their life in a good way. When this teen decided to break up finally for good with her abusive boyfriend she realized this was a great opportunity not to be insecure about being single, but to figure out why she would’ve made a choice to be with someone who was so abusive in the first place. She realized this at such a great time in her life because with all the frustration she managed to wiggle through the break-up, she had eye-balled the future and realized that break-up wasn’t going to go down much better with a marriage license and two kids in tow. This realization at this age was in fact priceless. And yes, it probably saved her a ton in emotional and financial expenses as well.

The ability to be selfish not in a way that takes from others, but in a way that allows your teen to grow as a person is one of the best ways they come out of their closet of low self-esteem and no confidence. Taking the time to get to know yourself is time well spent because that coming out party is a friggin’ blast and helps your teen grow into the best person, spouse and parent you can imagine!

No related posts.

What do you do? You can confront your teen and force them to tell you, but they can deny, deny, deny they are gay.  Your teen is trying to figure out who they are. I’ve referred to this before as identity development. Teens develop their identity in several ways (e.g. morally, ethnically, sexually, etc.).  This process must go at your teen’s pace.  This is crucial especially as more and more young teens are recognizing and becoming comfortable with their sexual orientation before their parent’s have ever given it a thought.

Your teen should be allowed to “come out” or reveal their sexual identity to you. This process should be done on their terms, but this doesn’t mean that there aren’t things you can do to help this process along.

• Language: make it clear that you are supportive of different types of people. This alone will set the stage for your teen to believe that you are open to the thought of whoever they might become.

• Family: if there is a gay relative that has been ostracized, and if you’ve been part of that ostracizing, you might want to reconsider this family member’s relationship with your family and bring them back into the fold.

• Actions: There have been a lot of discussions, marches and measures on the ballot that give you an opportunity as a parent to voice your opinion on gay issues.  When you do, you might want to do so as if you were potentially voting for your own teen’s rights.

Sometimes parents are so anxious about their teen being gay, they use abusive language to scare their teen into rethinking this lifestyle. Unfortunately for these parents, this does not work. Your teen is most likely to be happy when you support them in becoming their authentic self. Their true self irrespective of who that is. Don’t make your issues your teen’s issues. They have enough going on in their journey to adulthood.

Related posts:

1. Gay Teen Sex Talk
2. Gay Teen Pride!
3. I’m Gay But…I’m Just Like You