You get the call from your teen’s school and they explain that because your teen was seen by another student accepting something that appeared to look like drugs they are suspending your teen. You are confused because now the reward for your teen’s behavior is…a vacation?

When your teen is suspended or has any disciplinary time off from school it is important to use that time wisely. They should not be left to their own devices at home.  A suspension is inconvenient. You now have to ask for sudden time off to be with your teen and this is because no matter what happens that week, it should not be used as a vacation by your teen.

Teens do not learn social lessons well in the lecturing format. More often than not teens can recite or compose the lecture that their parents would say if given the opportunity so why not craft the time off to reflect what they claim to know, but just aren’t quite able to put into practice.

• Supervised time – If at all possible through you, a spouse, or trusted relative an adult will also have to take the time off. The time should be spent supervised and your teen should be working.

• Chores – Any chores that have been put off because of lack of time and resources now have both time and a resource. Have your teen take the wall paper down or rake up the leaves in the yard. If you are fortunate enough to have no chores then find a neighbor who could use a hand.

• School work – Be sure to hold your teen accountable for their school work while absent. Any previous projects that were not completed should be done during this time.

• Education – Depending on the offense, there should be time arranged in real life scenarios for that offense. A charge of drug use might offer the opportunity to attend an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting. A charge in fighting, might offer an opportunity to attend an anger management class in the local jail.  These are opportunities to hear real life stories rather than your warning that “this could happen.”  Let them see what the 25 year old version of their offense looks like and hear that person tell how they started down this road.

• Changing Behavior – Having your teen write about their experiences at an NA meeting or while volunteering (neighborhood clean up after a charge of graffiti) in some sort of capacity to learn about the offense is a great opportunity for them to process what they have learned in their own way. You may be able to get a teacher to have them teach other students when they return to class. Your own mandated community service is another way for them to learn from the behavior. Sometimes actions reinforce the lesson so find something for them to do with their hands.

No parent hopes their teen’s academic record will include a suspension, but if the time is spent well it maybe the opportunity that is needed to get your teen on track. In which case, a suspension could be a golden opportunity for both you and your teen.

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1. 5 Ways School is more than Grades
2. 5 Ways to Use the Media to Your Advantage
3. Six ways Community Service can be Better than a Job