TheTeenDoc.com » gratitude

The Importance of Gratitude

teendoc — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 11:00:22 +0000

It can seem like the hardest task trying to get your teen to be grateful for what they have, what you provide for them. It can seem like this anyway. Maybe you have rituals on Thanksgiving surrounding such a sentiment and perhaps not, but either way there is no doubt that being grateful for what one is given compels them to live differently.

When your teen is grateful, they treat the things they are given with care. They understand the hard work that went into purchasing the item or making the item and they don’t want it to be mistreated or broken.

When your teen is grateful, they say thank you not as an obligatory thing to get what they asked for, but the way it was meant as a symbol of understanding what someone went through to do something for them, especially if it is something they did not have to do.

When your teen is grateful, they live the day like they are special whether they’re rich or poor because as the old saying goes, “I complained I had no shoes until I saw the man with no feet.”

Finally when your teen is grateful, they do for others because they realize how much they have been given. They realize they have so much to give to others even if all they have been given in abundance is your love and understanding.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Your Teen’s Envy vs Your Teen’s Blessings

teendoc — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:30:13 +0000

There will always be a family called the Joneses, Gonzaleses, Patels or Worniaks to catch up to. It is key to be mindful of how you react to these displays of materialism so that your teen can understand the importance of being grateful for what they have rather than what they don’t have.

A cancer diagnosis isn’t something anyone wants to hear, but if you do ever hear it and you are fortunate enough to beat it you will forever compare anything that happens to you to the moment of hearing that news. You understand that a parking ticket, “Well, it ain’t cancer.”

As your teen develops their sense of self, they may look to superficial things to make them fabulous. This can range from getting better grades, doing better in sports, wearing the perfect clothes, getting the nose job or driving the ideal car. These things have little to do with who they are on the inside. Their character.

Oprah has said several times after having made so many people rich over the years, “Whatever your issues are, they will be magnified times 100 with money.” So money doesn’t take the issues away, it only magnifies it. Does it mean they shouldn’t want material things to be a little flashy or special? No, but they should work on their sense of self from a more aware perspective. So that if the money comes for them to catch up with the Joneses, they’ll be more self aware about who they are and what the money can and can’t do for them.

This starts by counting blessing and not things.

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The Gift Of Saying Thank You

teendoc — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 11:30:17 +0000

Thanksgiving is over, leftovers are being eaten and the wish lists are being developed for the various holidays. It is always better to give than it is to receive, but teens are not always aware of that. They like to get the gift and this is understandable, we all do, but there is never a better time than the holidays to demonstrate how good it feels to give and then get the warmth and appreciation back.

How do you teach this lesson?

There are several volunteer opportunities all year long how much more during the holidays. The local churches and other places of worship, homeless and abuse shelters, which will need more support this year, toy drives, coat drives and food drives and just families that need your support. However sometimes you need only look in your backyard. Is there a family member who could use your support? A neighbor who could use an extra hand? Free babysitting to run errands or tutoring, and sometimes you don’t even need to ask. If you see the need, provide the support. At the risk of feeling ashamed, those who need help might not ask.

A double win

Helping someone else is a double win: There is the give and the get. Your teen gives something and the recipient gets and says, “thank you,” but the thank you when it is very sincere and heartfelt is a unique experience to hear. To have donated what was to be your Christmas presents or to have asked for donations to your favorite charity and allowed them to meet a year-end goal that then allows them to support several hundred other people, or the food bank that now feeds tens more families is so unique a feeling that I believe it can be addicting. So the win is in the get, and then the give that the recipient gives in the, “Thank you.”

A thank you

When your teen has heard the most sincere thank you and seen how they can impact the world with so little effort, your teen will understand the impact their thank you has on others. It does serve to remind someone to say thank you whether it is a note after an interview, the words after someone carries the groceries out to the car or to a parent who did a little more than they should to make their teen happy.

The gift of kindness and doing for others is never out of vogue and sometimes that gift can begin with something as seemingly little as a “thank you.” Teens need to know that.

Thanksgiving. A Day Of Gratitude

teendoc — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:30:20 +0000

On your worst day with your teen, you can still be grateful to be the parent of a teen.

This sounds crazy, I know, but on your worst day with your teen, you have your teen. You can still make a choice to stop arguing, or stop giving the silent treatment and change something to make that moment, that situation -better. You have the ability.

On the worst day, you can say to yourself, this would not be happening had I miscarried, or had they died in childbirth. You can consider that the alternative of this chaos would be peace, but your teen would not be there. Would not exist.

On your worst day, when you have vented to all of your friends and gnashed your teeth to the root, you can consider that if your teen had run away, you could be worried and scared stiff staying up all night hoping and praying that they are alright that they aren’t dead somewhere alone, and that they have not been abused in some way by someone who did not love them as you do. Someone who was an acquaintance that they came in contact with or someone who pretended to love them as they deserved, and then took them away from you prematurely. Permanently.

So you see on your worst day, you can be grateful, because on your worst day, at the end of the day, your teen is home with you and you can make a choice to hug them or yell at them. You can tell them you love them, and they are alive to hear you and tell you that they love you back.

At the end of the day, you are grateful to have them. Please let them know today and every day.