Some parents are comforted by the fact that their teen is always home. They only have a few friends and they never speak back to you. Easy breezy right? Well, sure if you want them to live with you for the rest of their lives. You can always knock a wall out to fit their spouse and kids too.

Teens that are unable or unwilling to venture out on their own are not necessarily to be commended. There’s a reason to be concerned about teens who stick too close to home.

You are raising an adult, not a child. You want your teen to challenge you. It lets you know what they’re thinking about and that they will challenge others like their peers who sometimes don’t make sense.  You want your teen to have friends that they, for a short while, place as more important than you. This gives you clues to their support network when you are not around and they are in crisis.

If your teen shows signs of holding on to their pre-teen years too much, you can:

• Socialize. Encourage them to go over a friend’s house. You can encourage a movie, or amusement park outing. Other opportunities include volunteer activities and odd jobs like babysitting or cutting the grass.  The financial reward or mastery of a task might offer compelling incentive.

• Talk. Talk to them about any fears or concerns they may have. Some teens are so nervous they will do or say something to embarrass themselves in front of others that they simply avoid social situations including school. These teens have potential to have anxiety disorders and this in fact is a form of anxiety. If you think this might be your teen seek help from a counselor or psychologist.  Medication might help here even if it is used for a short time.

• Don’t Help. Even if your teen won’t socialize, you certainly shouldn’t be helping them by cancelling your plans to hang out with them. Unless there is a debilitating fear, don’t be afraid to let your teen fend for themselves at a family function or school away trip. They will never know what they’re made of unless they are given an opportunity.

Related posts:

1. When is it Time for Your Teen to Leave Home?