TheTeenDoc.com » parent communication

You Don’t Get It…Sometimes Parents Don’t Understand

teendoc — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 11:00:57 +0000

Sometimes your teen is right. You don’t get it.

For example take the teen that has difficult periods or menstrual cycles. They can’t get out of bed and they can’t function. They either miss school or activities or they ask you to pick them up when they have done as much as they can do for the day.

Your doctor offers you birth control as a way to improve the cramps, lighten the bleeding, help the acne and backne* your teen struggles with, help stabilize their moodiness that precedes their period not to mention help regulate her periods. They offer you this manna from heaven if you will and you say…

Birth control?! I’m not giving my daughter birth control!

You don’t get it. The benefits outweigh the myth and stereotype of using the birth control to help your daughter attend school more regularly. You’re stuck on the words Birth Control. Let me do you a favor and call it hormone manipulation. How’s that? Better?

*Backne – acne on the back

Got Teen Stress?

teendoc — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:00:11 +0000

You know that freak out thing your teen does when you ask a simple question and they start yelling and waving their hands and ranting about how you always do this and why cant you do that because it’s so obvious they’re in the middle of …

That’s a stressed teen. Sure it’s called being a teen and you may excuse it as such, but this is also a teen with a lot on their plate. They don’t handle stress any better than you do when someone is asking for this and your husband wants sex and the taxes are due and you just realized there’s a leak in the roof. Calgon doesn’t actually take you away. You end up sitting there having to deal with all the stress. Well, so does your teen except your teen has limited coping skills and they lack the authority to blow off some of your requests like chores and socializing with the family.

The irritability that comes with a teen that is an overachiever or an underachiever that is stressed about not achieving is palpable and it makes everyone in the house on edge. Offer any way you can help like snacks or errands, offer a break on some chores when projects or important meets are around the corner and when things calm down point out or teach them better coping skills so they can get through those times a wee bit nicer.

Just Listen

teendoc — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:30:30 +0000

Listen to everything your teen tells you. I mean everything. Mind you, you aren’t listening to catch them in a lie; you’re listening to let them know you are interested in them. Okay, and sometimes to catch them when they’re not making sense, or possibly a lie.

When you listen, you should make mental note of people, their names, distinguishing traits, if some seem more special than others, and if some names come up a lot. Asking questions shows you are interested, but be careful not to make it a question that was answered earlier in the story.

They know you have a lot to do, so if you can show them you care by remembering the names of people they mentioned or the quirky story describing how they got their nickname, you are bound to win major parent points.

If you are a multi-tasker, by all means do what you need to do, but when they ask a question, you need to be able to give them an answer so they believe you are listening.

Feeling heard is a great way to show your teen that they are not alone. They have someone with whom they can face the challenges of the world and hopefully feel comfortable telling you about either serious or heavy concerns. All you have to do is listen.